How Long Until You Can Talk With Your In-Laws?

You can say hello, thank your in-laws and manage a few set phrases within the first stretch of study. One-to-one small talk with a patient relative comes at around TOCFL Band A, Level 2 (A2), which is roughly 8 to 16 months at 1.5 to 2 hours a day, or about 1.75 to 4 years at 30 to 45 minutes a day. Following a fast family dinner on familiar topics sits further out, around Level 3 (B1), and joining in comfortably is a longer road still.

These figures come from how long it takes to learn Mandarin, which divides the official TOCFL suggested study hours by daily study time. This page adds no new timelines. It reads the same milestones as family situations.

The Family Milestones

Family situation	Roughly where it sits	At 1.5 to 2 hours a day	At 30 to 45 minutes a day
Greetings, thanks, a few set phrases	Learned as phrases, not as a level	Not tied to a level	Not tied to a level
Introducing yourself and answering simple questions with a patient listener	Around the Novice stage	4 to 6 months	8 to 12 months
One-to-one small talk: family, work, weekends	Band A, Level 2 (A2)	8 to 16 months	1.75 to 4 years
Following dinner conversation on familiar topics	Band B, Level 3 (B1)	12 to 21 months	2.6 to 5.3 years
Taking a full part in group talk, news and jokes	Band B, Level 4 (B2) and beyond	1.3 to 3.5 years	3.5 to 10 years

These figures assume daily study. Add a margin for missed days. The Novice row is a rough estimate because the Novice stage has no official hours. The others use the official suggested hours for learners outside a Chinese-speaking region.

What Each Stage Looks Like at a Family Table

Greetings and set phrases

This stage depends on what you choose to learn, not on a level. A short set of phrases will carry you through arrival and goodbyes: greeting each person, saying thank you for the meal, saying that the food is good, and asking someone to repeat. The first-meeting phrases are in what to say when meeting your partner’s parents.

Introductions and simple questions

You can say who you are, where you are from and what you do, and answer questions that come slowly and plainly. You will need repetition, and you will often miss the reply. This is where conversation starts, and relatives tend to be generous with it.

One-to-one small talk

Around Band A, Level 2, you can talk about where you live, what you did at the weekend, a family member’s job and what you are eating. With one relative at a time who speaks clearly and gives you time, this works. In a group, it still breaks down quickly.

Following the dinner table

Level 3 is where many learners start to follow ordinary conversations about familiar topics. Dinner is harder than a one-to-one chat because several people talk at once, at natural speed, with shared context you lack. Even at this level you will lose threads, especially when the talk is about people and places you do not know. Why dinner talk is hard breaks down the causes.

Joining in fully

Level 4 and above are long-term goals. Understanding jokes, quick exchanges between relatives and news from the family is a mix of vocabulary, cultural context and exposure. It keeps improving past the formal levels.

Planning Around a Visit

A visit in a few weeks and a conversation in a few years need different preparation, so match your study to the date that matters.

• Visit soon: spend your time on phrases, the names and kin terms of this family, and the food words you expect. These do not wait for a level.
• Visit in a year: build a base toward Band A, and keep the family phrases fresh with short daily reviews.
• Living together or moving to Taiwan: treat the level figures as a plan, and use your partner’s family as daily listening practice.

In every case, ask relatives to speak slowly and to use simple words with you. Most are glad to, and it often helps more than another hour with a book.

Reading These Figures Honestly

• Your family’s language matters. The timelines are for Mandarin. If relatives speak mostly 台語, they will be partly out of reach even at a high Mandarin level, because it is a separate language.
• Living in Taiwan changes the hours. The official suggested hours for learners in a Chinese-speaking region are about half those for learners outside one (for example, Level 2 is 240 to 360 hours in a Chinese-speaking region, against 480 to 720 outside). The calculation still depends on the study you actually do.
• Patient listeners help a great deal. Relatives who slow down, simplify and wait make the early stages possible sooner than the table suggests. Tell them what helps.
• Understanding lags speaking. You can say a prepared sentence well and still miss the reply. Practise listening separately.
• Generosity can hide gaps. Family members will often say your Chinese is good. That is kind and encouraging, and a tutor or a TOCFL Band A result gives a more objective check.

Fitting Study Around a Job

Most partners learning for the family have jobs, and the 30 to 45 minute column is the realistic one for many. Slow, steady progress is still progress, and daily contact matters more than long sessions. Learning Mandarin with a full-time job covers routines that fit a working day. Pick the situation you care about most, such as dinner talk, and give it extra listening time.

Related Reading

• How Long Does It Take to Learn Mandarin? (Honest Answer)
• Can’t Follow Your Taiwanese In-Laws at Dinner?
• Learning Mandarin With a Full-Time Job and Family
• Learning Chinese for a Taiwanese Partner: Where to Start